Wednesday, December 30, 2015

Signings (Part 1)

     The stretch limo was hilarious.  As a vehicle, it was the most impractical thing going on the road.  As a method of transporting three porno queens, their producer, and their muscle around, it worked well, though.  We didn't lack in room, or comfort, or privacy.  We were headed to LA to hang around in a couple adult book stores and sign boxes for customers, and Angel wanted us to arrive relaxed, not stressed from the drive.

Signings (Part 2)

     Another day in a stretch limo headed north.  Everyone in this monstrosity except for the driver is cartooned on Ecstasy.  We felt it was in bad form to offer the driver drugs, at least in the middle of the afternoon.  The girls crawl around on the floor, smoking cigarettes, playing dice, giggling.  We're headed for an adult book store in Long Beach, one owned by the family.  Bud and Lou run it, two characters out of a dirty comic strip.  They called me up to let me know all creature comforts would be provided for at all three stores we're doing signings at, even food.  We will be kept happy.

Signings (Part 3)

     I stationed myself at the front door with my jacket off and Beretta exposed.  I wanted to serve as a warning to any other would-be assassins that they were covered.  This crowd was mostly civilians, with some sailors mixed in.  Boss was positioned behind the girls, a deterrent to ardent fans.  Alexi sat in the back office under the guard of Bud.  Things were running smoothly, the fans well-behaved.

Signings (Part 4)

     Alexi was nervous.  He couldn't get over the feeling that we were going to kill him at any minute.  After all, he had threatened and attempted to kill the girls.  Now he was seated in a limo with them, Bekka, Donna, and Elspeth sitting on the floor rolling dice.  This wasn't what he expected.  No doubt our casual attitude came from having killed so many others in the past, and we were now headed to a pre-selected location for his murder.

Signings (Part 5)

     The phone rang at 7:15 a.m., an obscene hour for Bekka and me.  I was going to let it ring through to the answering machine....  Only I'd forgotten that Jane was up at that hour, getting ready for school.  She'd picked up her extension, expecting it to be Lance or another classmate begging for a ride to school.  Instead, it was someone who was familiar with her, but she didn't know him.

Signings (Part 6)

     Jane showed up around 3:45.  "Nobody after me today," she said.  "I showered after volleyball and went out to the lot with another girl, a senior who drives to school.  I wanted the company.  I didn't see anyone hanging around, and no red Pontiacs.  Think they gave up?"

Signings (Part 7)

     I shot up the freeway, making sure to keep Angel's Maserati visible in my rear view.  Nina alternated between staring nervously at me and looking out the window as though she'd never seen Los Angeles before.  Nikita napped in her lap.  Traffic was clear, we made good time into Hollywood.

Monday, December 21, 2015

School (Part 1)

     This event wasn't PTA.  It was more an opportunity for the parents of high school kids to see where the kids spent their days and meet teachers.  Running from 6:30 to 9:00 on a Wednesday night in October, Carlsbad High School was awash with suburban parents, some with their kids.

School (Part 2)

     "My jacket's buttoned okay, right?"
     "Yeah, you're fine."
     "You can't see the bulge?"
     Bekka glared at me.  "I always see the bulge.  I always feel it when you hug me.  You know I hate it, I know there's nothing I can do about it.  Finish your cigarette and let's go."

School (Part 3)

     "So you've gotta pick which room you want," I told Jane as we stood on the second floor landing of the new house.
     "I can have any of them?  Seriously?" she asked.
     "Make your choice.  Do you want one that looks over the beach?  Or do you want more space?"

School (Part 4)

     On Thursday we met the furniture guys at the new house.  Neptune St. is not large, but they'd managed to get the moving van in front of our place and still left room for other cars to get around.  We were their afternoon assignment.  Much of the furniture still required some assembly, so we would direct them as to where stuff went and they would put it together on the spot.  They got beds in place and worked around them.

School (Part 5)

     I was the last customer out of Circuit City, them locking the doors behind me.  Whatever, they were happy with the money I'd spent.  The big new TV would be delivered tomorrow afternoon.  I had Jane's TV, VCR, stereo, and bolt-together entertainment center in the back of the Cadillac.  I wanted to surprise her, so I headed for the new house to put everything together.  The entertainment center went together first, using a provided Allen wrench.  Then I struggled her TV up and hooked it up with the VCR, checking to make sure the cable worked.  The stereo was put together last, me grabbing a cassette out of the car to check the sound.  Fungo Mungo sounded fine.

School (Part 6)

     So it's Monday and I'm in my office at the mansion.  No shoots today, I'm just taking care of business.  Gina, my secretary, isn't in either.  Small Steve is down the hall working on his rough edit of our latest feature.  It's a quiet place.  I'm just about to collar Steve and take us out to lunch when the phone rings.

School (Part 7)

     Wednesday afternoon around three I was at the mansion, getting ready to head back home, when I heard a Harley pull in the driveway.  It could only be Jane.  She came into my office with a stressed look on her face, dropping her helmet and gloves on the sofa opposite me.  She still had her sunglasses on.

School (Part 8)

On Tuesday the doorbell at the mansion rang.  I was just getting off the phone with Sue, our goth sales clerk.  She'd thought about it, discussed it with her boyfriend, and wanted to give porn a shot, if we'd have her.  I set up an appointment with her for Wednesday morning to try a script read-through, just go through a couple pages of Bewitched to see if she could emote and inflect.  I warned her to not quit her day job until after she'd gotten the go-ahead from me, cautioning her again that we were picky about who we brought on.  She seemed confident.  I decided to match her up with Eddie the Big-Dicked Jew for her screen test.  She claimed to be able to swallow a garden hose, and I wanted to put that to the test.

School (Part 9)

     The following Wednesday was a busy day.  In the morning we gave Sue, our prospective goth porn star, her screen test with Eddie.  She was amused at the results of our stylist Jeanette's makeover of her.  "I look like a high school girl," she said.
     "Youth sells," I pointed out.

School (Part 10)

     Bekka and I heard her Harley fire up at the unpleasant hour of 7:15 a.m., as Jane headed for school.  She was leaving a bit early to see about getting a parking permit, her sixth.  We heard her nudge it out of the garage, then accelerate up Neptune.  I pulled my pillow over my head and went back to sleep until 8:45, when me and Bekka both got up.  We snorted our morning speed, started coffee, and hit the shower.  Bekka and I always showered together in the mornings.  It helped us start our day with a smile.

Wednesday, December 2, 2015

Frantic (Part 1)

     Boss set his empty beer down and said, "I never expected an operation this big to go so smooth, but it is."
     It's Saturday afternoon, and we're all sitting around in the conversation pit.  We've been ingesting various drugs, and are getting ready to head up to LA for dinner at the trattoria.  It was a celebration dinner for Boss.  He was now cranking out 20,000 hits of Ecstasy a week from his labs outside Needles, plus plenty of extra to keep dope fiends like Bekka and myself in good supply.  He idly stroked Squeak, who was curled up in his lap, enjoying the mix of marijuana, cocaine, Ecstasy, methamphetamine, and Anchor Steam running through his system.  We were all good and high.

Frantic (Part 2)

     Jane and Lance came into the office.  I was sitting with Dale and Elspeth, reviewing our plans for our outdoor shots in downtown.  Bekka and I had already worked out our bit of stunt driving, plotting out our moves on the street in front of the mansion at a slow speed.  Jane said, "Hey Lenny, you guys aren't using the pool today, right?"

Frantic (Part 3)

     Jane slithered into my office the next afternoon, after school.  She asked, "That was okay with you, right?"
     I said, "If it wasn't, we'd have told you to fuck off.  We're honest with you.  Why do you ask?"
     She wrapped her arms around my neck and said, "I dunno.  I was afraid you'd go all adult on me."

Frantic (Part 4)

     I explained what was going on while I drove home.  I included Jane in the discussion because I figured she would be impacted too.  We had already discussed our mob ties and she had taken it with grace.  She asked if I knew when I'd be called up, if at all.  I told them both that me being called into service was slim, as not only was I too far south to be in action quickly, but I was considered the sole source of security for Inana.  They weren't about to let one of their valuable holdings take the risk of no muscle.

Frantic (Part 5)

     Brianna showed up at my door around noon the next day.  She seemed surprised I was there.  I let her in (to the annoyance of the Punjabi cannonball) and she landed in the same spot on the bed.  She asked, "You're really gonna pay me to hang around and eat pizza with you?  Don't you fool around?"
     "This may have escaped your notice," I said, holding up my left hand and displaying my wedding band.  "Yeah, I fool around, but always with the woman I'm married to."
     "That ring doesn't mean shit to most of the guys I meet," Brianna muttered.
     "Does to me," I replied.  "So what do you want on the pizza today?"

Frantic (Part 6)

     The city of San Diego came through for us, blocking off streets and detouring traffic around us.  We've got a forty-five minute window in which to work.  Then we have to clear out, except for the shooting on the sidewalk.
     Bekka is looking forward to this.  She gets to fling her Plymouth Fury hot rod around in a manner not normally allowed on public streets.  We need to get two shots of her, one of which is her simply speeding down a hill, then one of her speeding down a hill and doing a four-wheel drift into a right turn.  It's her car, she knows what she's doing, so she's the driver.  Dale, who is supposedly at the wheel, wasn't feeling confident enough to pull off this bit of driving.

Frantic (Part 7)

     I dialed Angel's number.  My stomach burned.  I felt frantic.  I wanted a damn drink with a line of good coke behind it.  The phone rang three times, then Angel's wife Angela picked it up.
     "Lenny?" she said.
     "Yeah, me.  I got more info for Angel."
     "He's on the phone in the office, let me get him." The receiver was put down.