Friday, March 17, 2017

Freshman (Part 8)

     Professor Lewis announced, "All right, I've read your proposals for the creation of 'rapid growth/ small businesses.  Many of you don't quite the the premise.  Several of you did.  And one of you thinks you're being funny."
     Jane was currently sitting in her "Entrepreneurship and Small Business Creation" class, nicknamed "Start-Ups for Dummies."  It was a relatively small class, only twenty-five students, but all the classes as Haas seemed to be small.  No wonder admission was so exclusive, they seemed to be cultivating a rather intimate approach to education.  On Friday, they'd been assigned the task of proposing a small business venture that would see rapid growth, like doubling its size in three years.  Professor Lewis has instructed the class to not share ideas with each other, so there would be no chance of plagiarized ideas.  Jane had immediately thought of her venture, but had no clue what other students were thinking about.  The proposal wasn't a formal one, just a few pages explaining what the business was, it's initial size, and why the student thought it would grow so quickly.

     The professor walked between desks and stopped next to Jane.  He looked down at her and said, "Ms. Osborne, if you want to be a cut-up, go join the drama club.  Don't waste my time with you satiric ideas, I won't put up with it."
     Jane was baffled.  "What are you talking about?" she asked.
     "Your proposal.  We are trying to cultivate a serious atmosphere, and bad imitations of 'National Lampoon' articles don't amuse, they only annoy.  I'm giving you until tomorrow to write a new proposal, a real one.  Otherwise, you'd better choose a different major, and quickly."
     Now Jane was annoyed.  "What is wrong with the proposal I gave you?  What was so damn funny about it?"
     Addressing the rest of the class, Prof. Lewis said, "Ms. Osborne's rapid growth business was to open some sort of whorehouse in Australia."  Loud snickering broke out and he continued, "I'm glad some of you are amused, I wasn't."
     Barely restraining herself from whacking Prof. Lewis to get his attention, Jane said loudly and clearly, "It's not a joke, I wasn't trying to be funny.  In fact, it's an idea I've been betting around in my head for over a year.  Why did you assume I was making a joke?  I'd like you to point out where I was taking the piss, professor."
     Prof. Lewis looked down at Jane and said, "You're serious."
     "You're goddamn right.  You've got my proposal in your hand right now, tell me where I was kidding around."
     With a sarcastic smirk, Prof. Lewis said, "All right, Ms. Osborne, explain why you decided opening an illegal business would pass muster with me.  Except for Nevada, there are...."
     Jane cut him off.  "Don't talk to me about Nevada.  Prostitution, through brothels, is legal in any county with a population of under 700,000 according to state law, but most of those counties have enacted such heavy restrictions no one would bother with trying to establish here.  Really, the only two counties not hostile to brothel business are Nye and Storey countries.
     "I'd never open in Nevada anyway.  The customer base is, generally speaking, lonely half-rich white trash.  The Nevada brothels have no class whatsoever.  Brothels are considered sleazy in this country, and the ones in Nevada play up to that image, so screw them.
     "In Australia, the legality of prostitution varies from province to province.  Where it's legal, it's almost entirely brothel-based, no province allows street-walking.  So opening a brother --- don't use the word 'whorehouse' to describe the business I'm proposing, Professor Lewis, I don't like it --- in Australia is a viable business idea.  As it says in my proposal, I would start business in New South Wales."
     Prof. Lewis gave a short sigh and asked, "Why there in particular, Ms. Osborne?"
     "New South Wales has the most progressive laws regarding prostitution," Jane explained.  "Non-interfering restrictions on advertising, display window shows, to entice customers, are allowed so long as no nudity occurs, and out-call services are legal.  This last point is a big one for me, it would greatly affect both the scope and growth of my business."
     "Oh, yes!" exclaimed Prof. Lewis.  "Your hooker home delivery service.  And thank you so much for listing the activities you would offer, those are exactly the sorts of things I like to come across while reading a student's paper.  Be crude on your own time, Ms. Osborne."
     Keeping Prof. Lewis in a steady eye-locked glare, Jane said, "I'm sorry, professor, if you feel the legal terms for sex acts are crude.  Given that we are all adults, and this proposal is only ror a hypothetical business, I saw no reason to be coy with listing the services offered.  That's for the girls and boys running ads in the back of the  SF Weekly, okay?"
     "What are you talking about?"
     Jane laughed and said, "Oh, you've never read those ads?  The listings for 'private French lessons' or 'private lessons in Greek'?  The call girls --- and boys --- running those ads are implicitly saying what their specialties are.  Anyone offering French lessons is saying they consider themselves Olympic-level cocksuckers.  Those offering Greek lessons are announcing they're anal queens."
     "Anal queens?" Prof. Lewis asked, sounding genuinely confused.
     "They take it in the ass, okay?  Anyway, both are sort of specialty requests in the sex trade.  Just because a girl is a prostitute doesn't mean she'll engage in any and all acts.  Those that do engage in, say, anal can command a premium price for their services.  I refused to be coy while listing my out-call services....  Although I'll admit, I'm not sure if the laws in New South Wales would allow a direct description in advertisements.  I'll have to research that."
     "Oh, God," Prof. Lewis quietly muttered.  Then out loud, "Yes, well, you plan on offering quite a selection of, uh, services.  May I read them aloud to your fellow students?"
     "Be my guest," Jane said calmly.
     "All right.  Ms. Osborne will offer, through her out-call services, oral sex, anal sex, rope bondage in both European and Japanese styles, domination --- whatever that means --- genital torture, role-play partners, masochist training services --- another one I don't understand --- and fetish play.  Apparently Ms. Osborne believes that Australia is populated by direct descendants of the Marquis De Sade, and want hookers to show up at their homes to provide their perversions."
    "All right, professor, let me take some points in order.  'Domination' refers to domme-sub interaction.  There are plenty of men in the world who get sexual pleasure from being intimidated, threatened, and humiliated by a woman in black leather lingerie carrying a whip, among other, uh, tools.  I could call an out-call service locally and have a dominatrix in this classroom in an hour.  Dommes don't engage in genuine sexual activity, they're essentially putting on a show and administering discipline, via the whip and other tools.  A domme can have a ninety minute session with a client and never actually touch him once.
     "Masochist training if for those who wish to incorporate physical pain into their sex lives.  Like everything else in the world, there's a right way and a wrong way.  It's incorrect to assume all masochists want to collect scars, many just want to sensation, not wounding.  So, a girl can demonstrate what sort of pain can be inflicted, by what methods, without injury.  The client can then pass the information on to his partners.  Simple enough?  I'm not going to go into detail here.
     "Don't refer to any hypothetical girl working for me as a hooker.  Hookers work the streets and bars.  My hypothetical girls will be professionals, for a lot of the services, they have to be.
     :"Lastly, uh....  Professor Lewis?  I'm sure being a tenured professor at UCB means you've had a wide-ranging educational experience.  I'd think a human sexuality course would have been part of your education as tome point, but I could be wrong.  Regardless, I'll simply point out that one man's perversion is another's sexual bread and butter, a normal course of activity in his or her life.  People with atypical sexual interests don't feel like perverts, their interests feel totally natural to them.  Don't be dismissive of anyone because they're turned on by different things than you.  That's just being close-minded, sexual bigotry.  And given the number of people providing atypical sexual gratification, there must be a market large enough to sustain them.  It's amazing what your next door neighbor, or students, or fellow Haas instructors may enjoy, and you'd never guess it.  So don't try, our sex lives are personal for a reason."
     Prof. Lewis was leaning against the wall while Jane spoke, watching and listening with his mouth slightly agape.  After a few moments silence, he said, "All right.  We've got that straightened out.  So, according to your proposal, you'll have your collection of on-call....  Uh, I guess you would like a title of 'sexual professionals' for your employees.  You have them, and you'll also have a small whorehouse.... Excuse me, brothel....  when you start your business.  Explain how your business is sustainable at all, much less able to expand to double its size in three years."
     "Pretty goddamn easy," Jane grinned.  "First of all, the out-call service could be run out of a single room with a few phones.  There's no need for any more space, girls on call would be at their homes, waiting for the phone to ring.  When it does, the service tells them the who, where, and when of the client.  Really, some experience in HR is the biggest demand for the out-call service, you're just wrangling your workers over the phone.
     "The actual brothel, the physical business, wouldn't be offering any of the kink available from the out-call service.... Not yet, anyway.  It would be a medium-sized commercial property, or possibly a former motel, fitted out to specs.  Really, the brothel would be serving clients who just want a quick suck and fuck after work, or on their lunch break, or when they're bored on a Saturday.  Basically, vanilla-level sex, in a clean and well-managed location.  Quick turnaround with clients, good money.
     "I'll grow quickly because I'll use every advertising avenue available under the law to flog both the brothel and the out-call services, everyone in Australia will know the name of the business.  Since, as I hinted at before, there are way more people with atypical sexual interests than anyone thinks, anyone wishing to indulge in activity they wouldn't dare mention around home will be coming to the general area of New South Wales I've set up.  They get hotel rooms and give us a call, then enjoy themselves.  No neighbors up in their business, no placing personal ads and hoping for a response.....   No wives saying, 'Like hell I'm gonna do that with you!'  The out-call service will grow very quickly.
     "With the money from the out-call service, and a record of solid growth, I'll be able to establish a much, much larger brothel.  This one will offer some kink services, and also a more in-depth experience for clients.  Yeah, you can still get a quickie, but you can also spend time with the girl you've chosen.  The new brothel will have a bar, a restaurant, and a lounge on site.  Clients wouldn't just be paying for a sexual experience, they could also enjoy an ersatz date, enjoy both the liaison and some companionship.  The clients will feel like they've connected with the girl, not just had an empty, impersonal sex act take place.  It's this last service that will make my business shoot the fucking moon."
     Staring with his mouth still agape, Prof. Lewis said, "How?  Explain why this new bordello would be so wildly successful."
     Jane stared briefly at the floor, then looked at Prof. Lewis and said, "Because, professor, there are an incredibly, amazingly huge fucking number of lonely men in the world.  Not horny men, lonely men.  And they're not lones or misanthropes, just decent guys who are a little awkward and a little shy.  And they're not all single, they could have wives and families, but all the intimacy, sexually and emotionally, has evaporated from their lives.
    "Okay, let me back up a bit.  Yes, you can already rent a date, using an escort agency.  Escorts are pricey.  They accompany their clients for six to eight hours, the 'on the clock' time with the agency.  An escort from a good agency brings $1200 for that time block.  And that money is not paying for any sexual interaction, at least not at a legitimate agency.  That gets negotiated between the escort and the client, and the client's probably gonna drop another $1200 so the girl stays with him until the next morning.  Let's face it, you've gotta be pretty damn well-off to blow $2400 on a one-night stand, not including dinner and drinks and entertainment.  Men who are shy and awkward tend to not be captains of industry, they'd never be able to afford a decent escort.
     "At my new, expanded brothel, we'd be offering a reprieve, temporarily, for all those millions of lonely men.  The price would be lower than an escort, and that price would include sexual activity.  The 'date' would only be about three or so hours.  But we'd also be providing a bit of emotional satisfaction.  The men would't be having an emotionally vacant sexual experience with a stranger.  The client would be with a girl who he'd eaten lunch or dinner with, had a few drinks with, and has had conversation with.  She'd be a real person, a woman he'd communicated with.  For the client, that would make the sexual liaison a far more fulfilling event.,  He would have both a sexual and emotional palliative for his loneliness."
     A guy's voice from across the room said, "Excuse me...."
    "Yes?" asked Jane.
     "I thought of who else would really dig that service.  Guys who aren't necessarily lonely, but dudes that want to pretend they're total players, you know?  Hey, meet a girl, buy her dinner, buy her a couple drinks, then hit the hay with her for some fun, all in the space of three hours?  That's  how a player operates, must dudes can't pull that off.  But with the service you're talking about, a dude could pretend.  I'm just sayin'."
     Jane smiled widely and said, "Thank you!  I hadn't thought of that, wow.  A guy getting to pretend he's the king of seducers, a silver-tongued bastard, able to talk a girl into bed at light speed.  Thank you very much!"
     From the wall, Prof. Lewis sighed and said, "And you think you'd have a large enough of a client base to make this happen?"
     "Absolutely.  I know it reeks of cynicism, and I don't mean it to, but like I said: there are a shitload of lonely men in the world.  I'm sure Australia has plenty, certainly enough to drive our profits.  Between advertising and word of mouth, my brothel would become a must-do destination for a lot of men."
     "All right, all right.  I believe you were sincere with your proposal....  Although it seemed like a joke when I read it.  Between your laundry list of weird sexual services offered, and the idea of this whorehouse --- excuse me brothel! ----  which would cater to insecure and neurotic men, it read like a National Lampoon article.  So, do you really believe there are enough of these so-called 'lonely men' in the world to pull this off?"
     "You don't have to be socially inept to end up lonely," said Jane.  "I'm sure you see men who are desperately lonely all the time.  They're not pathetic geeks or misfits or losers, they are just about a quart shy of charisma, you know?  They can talk to girls with a decent amount of confidence, but they're short on personal magnetism.  Girls think they're nice guys.  They just don't see them as date bait."
     "I'd end up spending my entire inheritance at that place," another guy's voice said softly.
     "All right, Ms. Osborne, tell me this.  Do you honestly believe you could find enough hookers who could pull of this emotional charade to have enough employees?  You think women who are as cynical as hookers can be would be believable in their roles?"
     Jane sighed and rolled her eyes.  "I'm gonna correct you again: these aren't hookers.  They're not trolling, they aren't making a sales pitch.  They don't have to, they're inside a goddamn brothel, everybody there knows why everybody else is there.  I use the word prostitute because that's the legal term.  If I was going to have a job title for my girls, it would be 'courtesan.'  It's just a graceful sounding word, you know?
     "And I'm sure I can find girls who can engage with men, temporarily, giving a man the impression she's terribly interested in what he's saying, having the communication skills to keep a man engaged in a conversation, and generally giving the impression she's truly happy to meet him.  This doesn't call on incredible acting skills, any girl who's ever been seated at a table with a stranger at a wedding reception can smile, look attentive, and keep the ball rolling in conversation.  As an example.... You're familiar with Inana Productions, right?  Becky Page movies?"
     "Yes...." Prof. Lewis said suspiciously.
     "Would you say the girls in a Becky Page move, including Becky, are enjoying the hell out of themselves during the sex scenes?"
     Now slightly baffled, Prof. Lewis replied, "Well....  Yeah, of course."
     Jane started laughing out loud.  "They aren't!  They totally aren't!  They are, for lack of a better description, bored to fucking death during those scenes.  They're actresses.  Without getting into detail, what shows up on screen is incredibly different from what happened on the sound stage where the fucking was filmed.  Personally, it's a bit of acting skill borne naturally into every chick on the planet.  And giving the appearance of interest and enjoyment while talking to a man you've never met before is far easier to pull off.  Girls can look more interested than we are, and not have Catherine Hepburn-level acting skills.  Just Christina Applegate-level skills."
     "And just how do you know this about the girls in Becky Page movies?"
     Jane hedged a bit.  "Because I've talked with the girls, I've watched fuck scenes being taped, and I've had it explained to me over and over since I was sixteen.  And if I give you the full information about the circumstances, you'll probably think I"m yanking your chain.  But.... Okay.  What people don't seem to know is that filming hardcore porn is like making a regular Hollywood movie.  A conversation in a movie, a big chunk of dialogue, isn't all filmed in one take.  The director will yell for a cut, so cameras and lights and other things can be adjusted.  On a porn set, the performers, boys and girls, will just stop what they're doing and relax.  They aren't having the sex of a lifetime, they're two performers going through the motions of intercourse, and making it look real.  When the cameras are off, they're just hanging around.  Maybe they'll talk about where to get lunch when they finish.  Then the cameras roll, and they're instantly in ecstasy,  It's called 'performance' for a reason."
     Prof. Lewis' eyes got a bit wide and he snapped his fingers.  "Yes.... Professor Campbell mentioned....  Uh....  The people you live with down in San Diego, and their connections to that studio."  He paused and frowned.  "So is being around them the reason you feel that opening a bordello is a perfectly acceptable wary to enter the business world?"
     "Not at all," Jane smiled.  "I have a filthy mind naturally, I didn't need encouragement.  In fact, they always tried to discourage me from working in porn.  We finally agreed I would be allowed to make a loop when I turned eighteen, so I could see was it was like to be in front of the cameras firsthand.  They lied, I had a lot of fun, so I made three more over the summer.  What the hell, the money is great and the days are short."
     "You've made porn?" asked a querulous girl's voice.
     "I've appeared in porn, a total of four loops.  They show up on the 'Naughty Novices' tape series from Inana Productions....  Or they will.  Two are on the shelves at the stores, the other two will come out over the next eight weeks.  Like I said, I had fun, and $750 for three hours work is hard to turn down."
     "What were you doing?" a guy's voice asked.
     "I guess you missed those classes in sixth grade, where all the boys are in one room and the girls are in another," Jane replied, to laughter.  "How much explanation do you need?"
     "That is so totally gross," a girl's voice complained.
     Looking puzzled, Jane said, "Gross?  Why?  We did a pretty standard suck and fuck scene, totally vanilla.  Unless you find common human sex acts gross, I don't know why you would say that/"
     "But....  You were having sex in front of other people."
     "Yes.... The crew.  Director, camera operators, gaffer, sound man, fluffer....  All of whom have seen it a thousand times before, and didn't care about the blue-haired bitch they were filming that morning."
     "And it got put on videotape, and sold!"
     Jane let the condescending tone slide into her voice.  "Yes.  Good, you do understand what pornography is.  That's why I was there those mornings, to appear in pornographic videos.  Anything else?"
     "And you did it on purpose?" the girl's voice pressed.
     Jane rolled her eyes and said, "Oh Jesus Christ..  You know, sweetie, I'm confident in saying that no one has ever walked into a professional sound stage, removed her clothes, and had sex for about two and a half hours, all while being captured on video tape, only to claim later it was an accident.  If anyone ever has, I'd love to hear their rationale."  She put her voice up a few octaves and continued, "Of course it was on purpose, what the fuck sort of question is that?"
     "It's just like....  Totally gross."
     Jane got up, stepped to one side, then began theatrically banging her forehead against the wall.  The classroom broke up into laughter.
     "Okay, enough, enough," said Prof. Lewis.  "We're far, far off topic at this point.  Ms. Osborne, return to your seat."  He started to walk back up front, then stopped and turned.  "Ms. Osborne?  How would you like some extra credit?"
     :"I'm sorry, but it would be very unethical for me to appear in a porn film with you, sir," Jane said.  The room again broke into laughter.
     "Actually, Ms. Osborne, you would have your clothes on for this work," said Prof. Lewis.  "Unless you normally visit Moffitt Library naked."
     "I save that for special occasions.  So, what's on your mind?"
     "By next Monday, I want you to provide the relevant information, with citations, regarding the legality of your proposed business.  Provide information about methods, and legality, of advertising for the business.  And, if possible, provide pricing for for all your services, and get your pricing from real life sources, don't make them up.  You say prostitution is legal in New
South Wales.  Fine, there must be standard pricing for the various, uh, acts, a mean average.  Determine your pricing using that.  Oh, and determine where in New South Wales you wold be located.  Find out about local zoning regulations which would keep you from setting up shop in certain neighborhoods.  Do you think you can pull this off?"
     "Yeah, no sweat," Jane shrugged. "Moffitt is open twenty-four seven, right?  Between the stacks, Usenet, and the World Wide Web, I'm sure I can nail down some solid intel.  I'll also get an idea of commercial real estate prices in New South Wales, specifically Sydney.  I'm not gonna set up shop in Wagga Wagga or Dubbo."
     "I beg your pardon?"
     "Honest to God city names in New South Wales.  I was amazed to learn Australia is the one place on earth that has no indigenous marijuana.  If they had, it would explain a lot about the place."
     "Why the hell do you know so much about prostitution in Australia?  Or how porn is made?  Are you, like, really obsessed with sex?"  This from a girl's voice.
     Jane answered, "In reverse order, yes I am obsessed with sex, but both prostitution and pornography aren't about sex to me, they're forms of commerce.  My own rather strong libido, and my interest in being able to monetize sex, are two different subjects in my head.  I know about the production of adult video because for the last two years, I lived with a performer and a producer.  The industry was just common dinner table talk each night.  And I have familiarity with Australian prostitution laws because I was both curious, and I've believed for a long time a bordello or brothel could be a viable business investment.  Another reason Nevada disgusts me.  How poor of a manager o you have to be to bankrupt a brothel?  Chicken Ranch, chapter eleven!  Mustang Ranch, chapter eleven!  Idiots."
     Prof. Lewis asked Jane, "So, are Australia and Nevada the two places where prostitution is legal?"
     "Hardly," Jane answered.  "There's about fifteen countries where it's legal, but with widely varying degrees of freedom and acceptance.  The Netherlands, of course.... You've never seen the red window girls?  Greece and Germany are pretty damn progressive, in Germany the brothels are state-run, in both countries girls are registered with the government, they have periodic health exams and pay taxes, and they're eligible for a pension, sort of like getting Social Security when they're older.  Prostitution is viewed as a perfectly valid form of employment in both countries.  Austria also registers and tests sex workers.  Street walking is legal in all three countries, but only in certain areas.
     "Let's see.... There's France, but brothels have been outlawed since the end of World War II, and soliciting is also against the law.  My understanding is the girls run classified ads, and spend one hell of a lot of time walking their dogs.  Pimping is outlawed, too.  Good.  In South America, Ecuador, Columbia, and Brazil are countries where pretty much anything goes--- no, wait, pimping is outlawed in Brazil and Ecuador.  Again, good.
     "You've also got....  C'mon, brain....  Oh, Bangladesh and Indonesia.  They're examples of too little government involvement, both places have trouble with child trafficking and forced sex labor, scary shit like that.  Despite the reputation, prostitution is illegal in Bangkok and all of Thailand.  But there, a few thousand years of cultural tradition outweighs fairly recent government edicts, so it's just kind of given a wink by the cops.  That's another place with a child trafficking problem."
     One guy's pompous, sneering voice asked, "So if child prostitution was legal, would you have children working for you?"
     Jane glared in the general direction of the voice and replied, "First off, fuck you.  Fuck you with a brick, asshole.  You may not be aware, but incest and pedophilia are two sexual activities which are completely and universally taboo, in every culture that has ever existed anywhere on the planet.  It wouldn't matter where on earth you were, or what time period,if you engaged in either of those two things, you were a monster, something unfit to live in the rest of society.  No, I wouldn't cater to pedophiles.
     "See, one of the basic tenets of all sexual activity, from a handjob to hardcore S&M, is mutual consent.  In other words, all parties involved agree they're doing.... whatever... voluntarily.  Children should not be engaged in sexual activity, not just because they're not physically mature, but also because they can't provide informed consent.  I mean, would you allow an eight year old to invest in the stock market, or sign a lease on an apartment, or have a credit card?  Of course not, their intellects aren't developed enough yet, they simply don't have the maturity or experience or knowledge to handle the responsibility.  It's the same with sexual activity, and as a species, we've always known this, pretty much instinctively.  No, fuck the pedophiles, stuff them full of Depo Provera and make them wear bells around their necks like cats."
     "If there are countries where regulation on prostitution are more relaxed, why not do business in those countries?  Why deal with the bureaucracy in Australia?" asked the professor.
     "Several reasons," Jane responded.  In no particular order.... First, there's language barriers.  I'd need to speak a local language well enough to conduct business there, so I'd need to be pretty damn fluent.  I can already talk with an Australian and understand him.... More or less.  Culture is another thing.  Australia is pretty damn Americanized, I wouldn't need to adapt do local dustoms, beyond pretending Foster's is actually good beer.  Population is important, eastern Australia not only has a large population, it's also a huge tourist destination.  The Japanese already visit New South Wales specifically to go to the brothels.  Rumor has it Japanese businessmen are all fascinated with having sex with a white girl, so they get to find out in Australia.
     "And economics is a major factor.  Think about some of the countries I listed: Columbia, Ecuador, Bangladesh, Indonesia....  The locals don't have the money to afford my services, and tourism isn't strong enough to keep me afloat.  The European countries may have the money, but, well.... Sorry, those are countries with really Socialist approaches to taxation, so screw 'em.  Yes, it's nice prostitutes can get a government pension, but I'd rather my girls just save their nickels and retire with the money they've earned themselves.  And I'm gonna guess establishing a private business of the size I want would be a bureaucratic nightmare, with the government sucking up more of the profits than I'd be happy with.  Australia has higher tax rates than the U.S., but compared to the Netherlands?  Oh, please.
     In a nutshell, trying to establish business anywhere but Australia would have to many obstacles and disincentives to bother.  I'm sure I could set up in Bogota, or Sao Paulo, but my Spanish sucks, I don't know Portuguese at all, the general population couldn't afford my services, and while tourism is strong in Brazil, the percentage of the tourist dollar coming my way would't make it worth my while.  And don't kid me about tourism in Bogota, Columbia, unless all your luggage has false bottoms."
     The professor said, "Ms. Osborne, I must ask.  How much of this knowledge did you learn while drafting your proposal, and how much did you pick up due to your own curiosity?"
     "It struck me over a year ago that a brothel is a moneymaker....  Or should be, unless you're some fucking moron from Nevada, I guess.  So, I did some research, learned what I did, and reached my conclusions."
     With an exasperated voice, he said, "It's just....  You're an eighteen year old girl from Southern California!  What the hell prompted you to consider sex a form of commerce?  Was it the people you lived with?  Are you really that cynical?"
     Jane frowned.  After a pause, she asked, "Why do you think I"m cynical?"
     "By making sex a form of commerce, you objectify it.  Sex becomes just an activity, with no purpose or feeling.  That's a cynical way of looking at sex."
    "Okay, first off, humans are incredibly sexual beings.  Our mating urge runs year-round, and is always in our heads.  Humans want to fuck, and fuck, and fuck, and we don't always need emotional commitment or a bouquet of flowers to do so.  Sometimes we're just plain horny, you know?  Why not scratch the itch, satisfy an urge as strong as food?  We pay money for food, paying money for a sexual experience should also be valid.
     "And think about what will be my vanguard service will be at my brothel: a simulated date, essentially.  I'm very aware people like to feel a connection with who they fuck, have a basic sense of cohesion.  That's why I'm offering that service, the client will feel like he's had a genuine connection with a woman, not just stuck his cock in a couple orifices until he ejaculated.  I'll provide more satisfaction than ten thousand streetwalkers ever could.
     "So far as my friends go....  Yeah, okay, they work in porn, and porn is an industry.  It's how they've made their living their entire adult lives.  But Lenny and Bekka, the people I lived with, are a married couple who are more in love than any couple I've ever seen in my life.  They're not emotionally vacant people, blasé about sex and relationships.  They are wonderful, loving people with strange jobs.  The porn industry hasn't destroyed their souls, and prostitution won't destroy mine.
     "And finally, why not have sex as a form of commerce.  It's a drive every human has, like food.....  And even with more universal commonality than food.  If we were all forced to take up the same diet as an Eskimo, we'd bet sick real damn fast.  But I guarantee you that if you and some Eskimo chick hopped into bed together naked, you'd both know exactly what to do, with no guidance.
     "Okay, so I'm an eighteen year old white girl.  So what?  Why would I be averse to starting a business in the sex trade?"  Jane paused and looked down at her desk.  She continued, "Okay, yeah.  If it weren't  for my own libido, the idea probably wouldn't have come into my mind so easily, fair enough.  I'll tell you a bit about my private life.  I lost my virginity at age twelve under, uh..... It was a bad situation.  But it also kick-started my libido, and I've done a lot of my thinking with my pussy ever since.  I've actually calmed down a lot, compared to how I was when I was younger.  But anyway, yes, my choice of business was ultimately rooted in my own sexuality.  My libido caused me to have the thought of, 'Hey, what if...?'  My intellect grabbed the ball and took it from there."
     "So will sex dominate your business decisions here in class for the next four years?  When we're studying the stock market, will you somehow incorporate sex into it?"
     Jane gave it some thought, then said, "I'll have to find out who manufactures Astroglide, so I can see where the company is traded, NASDAQ, Dow Jones, whatever.  I'm bullish on Astroglide as a product.  Whether you're alone or with someone else, Astroglide really brings a smile to your face."
     Prof. Lewis stared at his desk and shook his head.  The rest of the class burst into laughter.

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